Monday

Monday is the most frightening day of the week, since I always waiting for the weekend to come but it slips already in a blink of an eye. Just... what happened in the last two days?

I want to be more productive, like achieve something or what, but I keep messing up.

Just try to treat every day as your best day.

2022 Resolution

 Not too late to have a new year resolution?

It's been a very long time since I have it written. Actually the last time I remembered, almost all of the things I mentioned come true! Wow. So, let's begin.

I want to be more intellectual. Have better English, as my writing and speaking skill is still far below professional standard. Read more books, finishing all of my bookshelves on kindle. Learn modern skills. More organized life. Have good habits. Can overcome my fear. Not procrastinate.

And the last thing, I want to be happy for who I am and what I have.

Prepare to be Old

It has been 3 months! 3 months in my hometown plus another 3 weeks I spent in Jakarta for this Work from Home thing. Next week I will be back to Jakarta, spend two weeks to self quarantine and go back to office in the second week of July.

So much time to think and learn. Especially I learn a lot about investment and self care. We are growing old, we will face the time when our body weaken and our skin loosen. It's important to have good diet and exercise regularly, and take a good care to your skin. Now I have so many products that I want to try and now I spent millions rupiah just for skin care. Now I still finding the right products, so the next months probably I can minimize it to be under 5 products. Cleanser, serum, moisturizer, and sunscreen. I will not instantly be handsome and good looking, but I can feel that my skin supple, bouncy, and it's been a long time since I have acne. My concern is I want to do my rituals (diet, exercise, and skin care) to be my investment for later time.

Another thing is money investment. I know that 2-3 years after I first working, I made bad decisions about spending my money, so that I'm not ready yet to build a new family, even though I used to have so much before. So I started again. I make plans, store my money to some funds and deposits. Stop spending for actual objects that I thought it will be an investment. But the first action is to control our spending behavior and mindset about money. Living minimalist and thinking forward. So in my pension time I will have enough investment to give me worry free money and body that is healthy inside and outside.

A Typewriter

Today is labor day. Usually, we are very excited to have a holiday, especially on Friday, but now while we are in this current pandemic situation, it's just become another Friday. While we have many house chores on this sunny day, I found this in my home.... An old typewriter.

When I was in elementary school, computer was not a common thing. It was expensive, and not many people need that actually because many works were done manually (in developing country such as Indonesia, smartphone's popularity waaaay surpasses PC, many more people use smartphone to connect to internet or do some simple computing tasks rather than using a PC to do it). I was a keen reader back then (now I'm not), I read a lot and inspired to be a writer. So I persuaded my dad to buy me this. I still remember when we bought it in a flea market in Yogyakarta, and It belonged to a student there, maybe for writing a thesis or so (Yogyakarta or Jogja city so-called "Student City" or "Kota Pelajar" because it is very famous for its abundant universities and campuses, ).

I want to finish my postgrad as soon as possible and get over it. This weekend will be a perfect time to finish my thesis. Wish me luck!

Present

This is actually an old photo. Last year I bought a birthday present for myself, a backpack. Fjallraven Raven 20l which costs about 110 USD in the store (I bought in Grand Indonesia Mall after night class). My previous work bag is Thule, and I think the bag is too big and started to tear off . It was a very good and comfy bag, but the compartment management and the size don't suit my activities especially for commuting. I know the fjallraven one is an expensive bag, but I'm happy that I decided to buy it, because it's worth it. It has perfect size, beautiful but modest design and color, and great compartments. Great buy.

And here I am thinking about this year's present... Now that I'm single and already self dependent, I don't expect to have a kind of birthday party or whatsoever. I just celebrate with buying some goods that will be a memorabilia for everything that I achieve every year. ✌🏼

------

Now it's past midnight and I can't sleep because I haven't finished my responsibility yet for today. I messed up. How I can handle that tomorrow.... Please God, make some miracle...

Work from Home

This is a legendary moment. The entire world is quarantined because of coronavirus. I have been working from home since 14 March and rarely go outside (just to grocery store). I made my workstation inside my room ( In my home I only have one table, in my dining room. I moved it to my bedroom and now I only have chairs outside). I feel so grateful because my work can be done remotely and I don't have to go outside to make a living. WFH is privilege, don't waste it.

Less than 12 hours I will have my thesis guidance with my professor via video conference. Please, please don't repeat the mistake you've done for the past years. Please, graduate on time.

Skin care for Men

Now I'm 27 years old, and in several days will be 28. I understand that taking care of your skin is important in this stage of your life, for keep looking young and not to be that ojiisan type.

Not for too long I start looking for better skin care product, first because many of my friends tell me that I'm darker or ask if I travelled to Bali or something because of my tanned skin. Maybe because before I started work, I took care my appearance well (so that I could have higher acceptance because people will prefer a better looking person, and that is life). I used to clean my face with a face wash (with SLS, then my face would be stiff after taking bath), drugstore cheap moisturiser, and now and then I used mask. Then after I have enough money after work, I bought the Hada Labo line. I found out that I was not suited for that brand. My skin became darker, even though I used SPF 50. So after some research, I met Bio Essence line and It changed my life! My skin go back clearer and well cared.  But the brand is too feminine (because of the pink package), so I change to a brand which recently so hype but has unisex packaging, Somebymi. I used the AHA/BHA/PHA toner and snail truecica serum. I'm quite happy for the result, but still looking for alternatives (the serum is quite expensive for the size). And then I tried COSRX and got settled.

We need an efficient way for using skin care. The essential is cleansing - moisturising - SPF. The cleansing can be double cleanse if you use make up (but I don't, so I'm using one step and sometimes I also exfoliate). Moisturising can consist of using hydration type of product, serum, and moisturiser. But I think my products (essence and serum) already give me enough hydration. My skin is not dry, and I live in tropical country with humid climate, so I skip moisturiser that usually use thick cream (maybe in colder or drier place it's a must). Then SPF in the morning, or sleeping mask in the night.

Cleansing: I'm very happy with Senka, because of the foam. But in the morning I think they are too heavy cleanse, and I don't have too much time to make the foam. So now I'm using COSRX Low PH Good Morning Cleanser in the morning and Senka in the night before bed. Some night I mildly exfoliate using AHA/BHA toner. Now I'm using COSRX to streamline my product, but I think Somebymi toner is better taking off my dead cell, so after my current bottle is empty I will go back to Somebymi. I'm not using toner everyday, just sometime in the night (probably 3-4 times a week). After that, I'm using COSRX snail essence. I love it because it give my skin so supple and bouncy. Then I use the ordinary niacinamide serum to brighten my complexion (because of the acne scar), then in the morning I use Biore SPF 50 (I love it because it's very light and has no white cast), in the night I use Laneige water sleeping mask or COSRX Overnight Spa Mask (But sometimes I use the cream as moisturiser if I feel my skin a bit dry especially below the eyes). And now i have no problem with my skin. I'm happy for my natural skin color, I have no acne, and my skin is soft and nice to touch. I hope I will not age too quickly and still looking young for a longer time. 

My Apple Purchase

In 2017 I bought an iPad Pro 10.5, 2018 I bought a MacBook Pro 13", and 2020 I bought an iPhone 11 Pro. All came with 256GB storage.

Many people said that it was not a good purchase, spending a lot of money to buy things that can do the same with many cheaper alternatives. But it is what I dreamt of since I was in college. And thank God, after I work in a company now I can afford that. It's my happiness.

I'm actually a big saving person. After this "achievement", I save most of my money to the next plan. First is the wedding budget, next Hajj, pay off my mortgage, my children education, and finally my retirement money. Even though I'm not in a relationship yet. When you are financially stable, you'll be happier. The key is to not higher my life standard too quickly. Or ever.

Back to Nokia

Probably I have not tell you that I switched my primary phone from iPhone SE to Samsung Galaxy Note8 at December last year. But this week I switch back to my old phone. Because... I lost my phone.

I have been taking graduate degree for about three months. Ever since I was a kid, my dream is to continue my study in Europe. But things happened and I must work after graduate from University two years ago. So now I took the graduate degree in Jakarta instead, while working at my current office. I'm now a graduate student in Universitas Indonesia.

I have class in afternoon and night, perfect time for crazy traffic jams inJakarta. So the most efficient way to go to the class is by train. Las Tuesday, my class finished at 19:00 and I went to Manggarai Station. At that time, the station was still full of people going back home after work. I took Bogor lane, one of the most crowded lane in the station.

Probably there were some problems with the trains, so I waited for a long time for the train. People was continue to come and it was getting crowded. Got bored, I opened my phone while listening to the music with my headphone.

The train we were waiting finally came, and I putted my phone into my jeans' pocket. Suddenly, a short man got in front of me, and people around me was scrambling to get into the train. It was very crowded, and all I knew was the music stopped and my phone no longer at my pocket.

I realized that at the time, I was thinking about many things and my mind was not focus. I must aware for everybody around me, especially people beside me. I must focus with all of my belonging, including my phone.

But all of our wealth belong to God, and can be taken at any time. I must get over it.

For work purpose, I must have an android phone. Because it is an emergency, I bought a cheap phone. The best choice is Nokia 3. I bought it for IDR 1.3M (about 100 USD). I choose that because it has good design and NFC for card top up. But it is very slow and the battery is not good. But I must being grateful for what I have. It's not the best phone, but my needs are covered with it.

Be a better person for everything we have.

Me and Jakarta Life

Hello! Very long time no see. Beside my work, now I take master study (night class) in the biggest university in Jakarta. So hectic yet I enjoy it. So Now I just want to give you update about my life.

My latest post was written in a city that different from now. Yes, I have moved from Bogor to Jakarta!!!

One of my friends asked me what city I prefer to work. And I replied Jakarta! As soon as I graduate, I rented a room in a boarding house in East Jakarta for a more convenient job seeking. But I have grown a connection with this city long before, actually.

When I entered college, my parents live just two of them in my hometown. So, whenever my father had office activity in Jakarta, my mother accompanied my father, and if I had time, I went along too.

Jakarta is so big and different from any other cities in my country. It houses many different people, the most diverse as the capital city of Indonesia. In my hometown, I often feel alone, but in this city, with so many people here, I feel more comfortable.

And now, I have worked in Jakarta for 8 months, more than when I live in Bogor.

.....

Yes, Now I have whatever I want. I have a stable job, in a big company, in a big city, with great friends and a good amount of salary. I bought all of my dream stuff: latest MacBook Pro, iPad Pro, iPhone, Galaxy Note, branded bags, shoes, clothes, I even already have a house in Jakarta and a house in outskirt Jakarta. What else?

I'm not okay.

I find that what I faced in the last 2 years of uni has intoxicated my mental health. Or more precisely awaken my dark side. Whatever I try to solve that, the shadow still appears and haunting myself. I feel... depression. Even when there are no bad things happen with me. Even when my life goes smooth and perfect.

I'm not okay.